I just watched a video of a housemaid who was caught trying to poison her madam by mixing her drinking water with insecticide. All premeditated, as she had apparently retrieved the bedroom key from its hiding place in order to do this.
If you're from these parts you've probably seen at least a couple of versions of this story- housemaid stole, tried to poison, maltreated younger child, pooped in plates/pots/pans, etc
What I find to be a common thread in these situations is that the housemaid is usually quite young, or sometimes an older teenager who's been a housemaid for several families since she was a young girl.
Now I know that it is dang near impossible to be a working woman in this clime without any help in the home and I know that there's no foolproof solution but here's the thing-
1) These girls are young and immature. Teenagers take foolish decisions even under the best circumstances
2) They witness your children's privilege. A privilege that they have been denied through no fault of theirs. That can make anyone bitter
3) As an employer, it is natural to expect certain standards of your employees. You won't cut them the slack that you would any other child of that age that you know. To your mind they're your employee and that's unacceptable. To their minds, junior did the exact same thing the other day and you just shook your head.
You're both right!
4) I think we can agree that practically noone willingly wants to be in this situation. So there's got to be some natural resistance within their spirit and their psyche, to this situation that they find themselves in
5) Some of them left home so young they barely had time to learn anything, and yet they're expected to naturally be able to carry out all these chores because they are housemaids.
6) A good number of them have endured physical and/or sexual abuse, some over a long period
7) 100% of them have some psychological trauma as a result of all of the foregoing- who wouldn't?
There's so much more that could be said but I think the key is this-
DON'T EMPLOY UNDERAGE KIDS AS HOUSEHELPS.
Employ an adult who can engage on their own terms.
It really can be as simple as that.
A lot of people don't even really make the connection between child trafficking and forced labour with the young maids in their homes. Take another look!
It's not enough that they're given nice clothes or sent to the neighbourhood school. They really need to be allowed to be kids.
▪️I know that the economic reality of this region may sometimes mean that that is the only chance at an education that this child gets, but if he/she has to clean up after and serve the family, or has to look after another child, or really do anything else that the other kids in the home don't have to do then perhaps we need to revisit the idea?
▪️I know also that some would argue that they may have to do those things anyway if they were with their natural families.
Employ an adult who can engage on their own terms.
It really can be as simple as that.
A lot of people don't even really make the connection between child trafficking and forced labour with the young maids in their homes. Take another look!
It's not enough that they're given nice clothes or sent to the neighbourhood school. They really need to be allowed to be kids.
▪️I know that the economic reality of this region may sometimes mean that that is the only chance at an education that this child gets, but if he/she has to clean up after and serve the family, or has to look after another child, or really do anything else that the other kids in the home don't have to do then perhaps we need to revisit the idea?
▪️I know also that some would argue that they may have to do those things anyway if they were with their natural families.
That's true. Every child should help out at home. In which case no child would have to do it outside of their own home.
The law of Demand and Supply is universal. Supply only dries up when there's no demand.
So how do I get the help that I need around the house?
i) As I said before, contract with an adult. The terms will probably be different but it's better for everyone in the long run.
You can view it the same as you view your relationship with your driver, tailor, supplier, etc. One where there's a two-way conversation and hopefully mutual respect but you're still paying the piper so you can dictate the tune.
ii) Another way to get some help that's much less popular today is to have a relative live with you.
a) If you have a niece/nephew/brother/sister/cousin that's a young adult and just starting out in life they can live in your house rent-free and help with the kids.
There can be a schedule that's well thought-out and upfront that allows everyone in the household to pitch in as required and still have a life.
b) Or you could get an older relative to help out- an unmarried or widowed aunt, a relatively young grandma, etc.
These may involve being creative about role sharing but are still viable options. For example the gateman may become responsible for sweeping the compound, perhaps for a little extra money, the preteen may become responsible for taking out the bin, etc
iii) Or get a combination of a live-in relative and a live-out adult maid if a live-in adult maid is not an option. That way you get the help AND the supervision you need.
The bottom line is that we have to get creative and think widely about what alternate scenario could work for our household, one that does not involve an underage child as a househelp.
I hope someone takes a second look at their situation on account of this post.
Love and light.
So how do I get the help that I need around the house?
i) As I said before, contract with an adult. The terms will probably be different but it's better for everyone in the long run.
You can view it the same as you view your relationship with your driver, tailor, supplier, etc. One where there's a two-way conversation and hopefully mutual respect but you're still paying the piper so you can dictate the tune.
ii) Another way to get some help that's much less popular today is to have a relative live with you.
a) If you have a niece/nephew/brother/sister/cousin that's a young adult and just starting out in life they can live in your house rent-free and help with the kids.
There can be a schedule that's well thought-out and upfront that allows everyone in the household to pitch in as required and still have a life.
b) Or you could get an older relative to help out- an unmarried or widowed aunt, a relatively young grandma, etc.
These may involve being creative about role sharing but are still viable options. For example the gateman may become responsible for sweeping the compound, perhaps for a little extra money, the preteen may become responsible for taking out the bin, etc
iii) Or get a combination of a live-in relative and a live-out adult maid if a live-in adult maid is not an option. That way you get the help AND the supervision you need.
The bottom line is that we have to get creative and think widely about what alternate scenario could work for our household, one that does not involve an underage child as a househelp.
I hope someone takes a second look at their situation on account of this post.
Love and light.
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