Chadwick

 He really was a gift wasn't he? 

One that'll keep on giving long after he's gone. His body of work, popular and otherwise; his activism; his voice... 

I'm still not sure why I had such a visceral reaction to the news of his passing. I'd admired him from a distance much like everyone else, in that absent-minded way that assumes that the object of your admiration would always be there so there was no real urgency to the expression or demonstration of that admiration. 

 From across the screen you could see what an unassuming, charming young man he was. At the same time you could tell that the currents ran deep under that calm exterior. He had a lot to say and give and he was not shy about delivering his message, perhaps because he knew he had a limited time to do so- there's something freeing about that. He never stopped living, even near the end. He enabled us to continue to really see him and hear him instead of the disease, by sparing us the news of it. But what a burden it must have been, answering questions and being in on plans about a future you weren't going to be part of. 

So here's what I've learnt: since we are not promised tomorrow, whether or not we've been giving a timeline by doctors, let's live each day like it could be the last 

Let's treat each meeting, every email, every phone call with our loved ones like it could be the last- don't leave without making amends and expressing how much we love them. 

Let's speak our truth. The consequences may be far milder than we imagine. If they're not, better to have have spoken it than to leave this side without anyone really knowing what we're about. 

Let's live our passion. It will evolve over time. Whatever it is in that moment, give it your all. 

Let's be kind to everyone we meet along the way, it really usually never costs more than we can afford to be nice. You have more capacity than you imagine. 

 Let's be courageous. Let's show up. Let the cause be bigger than our fear. 

Let's tell people our positive feelings about them. If they don't reciprocate it it's their loss, but what if they do and they're just like us, afraid. Or what if they're no longer here tomorrow- then we'll never know. 

Let's listen with or ears and our eyes and our hearts. We'll hear a lot more that way. 

Oh, and with all of today's temptation to be popular and be first to break the news, let's be loyal confidence-keepers. 

I hope that writing brings the catharsis that I'm seeking. 

This really hurts. The frailty of rhe lives we deem so precious has been held before our eyes. I hope the lessons stay with us. I hope that the candle he's lit continues to burn.

And oh, I pray that what he saw happens.

Love and light