So here I am today, the first day in forever that hasn't been a frenzy of activity from the moment the day starts.
I've eased nicely into this day and I'm getting through all the stuff that I've had outstanding for a while now when suddenly I feel the urge to google myself- I know, I'm strange like that.
I was pleasantly surprised to find one or two mentions other than my Linked-in profile and Facebook page. Interestingly though, none of the images attached to my name are of me- which I'm actually pleased about. I am officially a woman of mystery! A couple of mentions and no photo- just enough info to pique your curiosity but not enough to be considered overexposure.
From there I get the urge to google my late father- he's been on my mind a lot lately- probably because it's just gone past the 10 year mark since he passed, and he has a posthumous birthday coming up in the not-too distant future. Anyways, that search leads me to a blog I wrote about cancer- I'm giving it the little c, not the big C.
So there's the story of how I happen to be writing a post this morning.
Remind me again why I don't do this more often? I love to write but lack the discipline-that's why!
Today I'm hopeful. I'm hopeful that Nigeria will work better as a nation.
I'm hopeful that hard work will be rewarded and Kings' hearts will be touched.
I'm hopeful that my sons will grow up to be strong, productive, god-fearing young men.
I'm hopeful that the growth that I sense within me and my critical relationships will continue to flourish.
I'm hopeful that I become less of a procrastinator and more of a Just-do-it girl!
Today, I'm just filled with hope. I'm filled with a sense of endless possibilities.
I'm going to ride that wave of hope into fruition.
I'm looking at an invite to an event which may be a fantastic networking opportunity at a high profile event or a time waster organized by a chancer- hard to tell at this point. I'll do my research and hope it's the former rather than the latter.
Have a great week filled with hope. I will!
Monday, 13 March 2017
Monday, 9 June 2014
Salvation
It is now seven or so weeks after the Chibok girls were
kidnapped. Not only have they not been rescued, there is no evidence of
on-going efforts or any reassurance from our leaders that gives us hope that
they will be rescued.
In those seven weeks life has gone on for the rest of the
world. We’ve had babies, celebrated weddings, funerals, birthdays. People have
been promoted, fired, employed, jailed, freed. Buildings have been built, some
torn down; friendships made and broken, and yet it’s more of the same for these
girls and their families.
The sameness of despair, the sameness of not knowing if you’ll
ever see your loved ones again, the sameness of wondering each day what kind of
life you can possibly have after this horrendous ordeal.
Will Bulus still love me? Did they go ahead with Sister
Sarah’s wedding without me or did they shelve it? Is Papa better after his eye
surgery? Does Mama have anyone to help her fetch firewood? Is my baby sister
Aisha potty-trained now? Can my brother John ride Papa’s bike to the farm now?
I don’t know. I don’t know the answers to any of these
questions. I don’t know because I’ve been cruelly torn away from the life that
I knew, from the bosom of my loving family. I don’t know if I’ll ever see them
again. I do know though that my life will never be the same again.
I will never be that innocent girl with the playful smile
anymore. I will never be that young girl with a bounce in her step anymore.
People will never look at me without judgment in their eyes anymore. Would I be
able to look in a mirror and see myself without judgment?
I don’t know the answer to that too. But I’m tired now. I’m
tired of crying for help every day, and yet help never comes. I must arise now.
I must find the strength within myself to carry on. I must find the strength to
face another rising of the sun. I must be strong for my friend Ruth. Ruth is
sick and each day I can a little bit of light leave her eyes. I must be strong
for Mama. She would die if she knew the indignities I’ve suffered. I must be
strong for Aisha, the child of my mother’s old age; the child that I have known
since Mama got pregnant would be my responsibility to raise and educate one day.
I’ll dry my eyes now and get on with it. The enemy must not
see me broken. To him I am defiant. To him I am an enigma. I have not broken
down and given in like most of the other girls. He does not know that I weep in
private. I weep under cover of darkness. I weep under my headpiece in the dead
of the night. My soul is constantly awash with tears but I will not let him see
them. I will not let him taste the victory. If I give in to despair what hope would
my friends hold on to? I will sink into depths so low I may never find my way
back up. So I cling stubbornly to hope. I cling stubbornly to defiance. I cling
stubbornly to my savior, in whom I know I’ll find salvation. Someday, somehow.
Monday, 12 May 2014
Nigeria, what time is it?
In the wake of the Chibok kidnapping and the other atrocities that have since happened, the Nigerian government has caught a lot of flak, severe mockery and tongue-lashing from everybody, qualified to do so or not. The totally uninformative and overly defensive interviews given by our top ranking government officials on CNN sealed our fate. Where there was uncertainty before and we might have been persuaded to give the benefit of doubt, things became crystal clear- not only were we not looking for the girls, we had no clue how to begin to search for them, or how to deal with a whole host of national issues for that matter.
Now that in itself is not a crime, the crime is remaining complacent instead of seeking direction.
It is now four weeks after. Life is slowly returning to normal for most people. The Social Media furore is dying down and the protest marches are dwindling. I understand that the vagaries of day to day survival have not gone away because the girls were kidnapped, or another batch kidnapped a few weeks after, but I wonder...
I wonder if the girls are now accustomed to their new existence and its now the new 'normal' for them
I wonder if they now greet each new dawn with the usual enthusiasm of most young girls
I wonder if they now view their captors as their family and have no hatred in their hearts towards them
I wonder if they miss their mums and dads and siblings and cousins and friends less now
I wonder if their mums and dads and siblings and cousins and friends miss them less now
I wonder if a moment passes when they don't think about them and wish they were back in their arms
I wonder if life has returned to 'normal' for them and their tears have dried up
I wonder if when they think of their girls they can shrug their shoulders and say 'c'est la vie!'
I wonder, and the answer is no. Life will never return to 'normal' for those girls and their families. Sadly, not even if and when they are found.
The horror of this atrocity will always live with them. The memories may thankfully fade over time, but they will never be erased.
So is it too much to ask that we keep the watch? Can we do better than Jesus' disciples and not fall asleep on the watch? Can we continue to watch and pray until they are found? Can we think of practical ways in which we can help the families now and after the girls are found, and set the ball rolling now?
This kidnapping and other events are signs and symptoms of a greater evil in our land. We have become so self-centered we would never consider the notion of not looking out for numero uno first. We have been battered with so much bad news we have become inured to it. Our milk of human compassion is drying up. We can't become riled up enough to take any serious action if it doesn't affect us directly- but there's the danger, it does affect us. Even though Esther was in the King's palace Mordecai assured her that the annihilation of the Jews would affect her one way or the other: she would either be killed alongside them or somebody else would save them and then she would become persona-non-grata before the Jews and possibly the rest of the world, ever so ready to castigate.
We know now that our government doesn't know. They have feet of clay just like us. Knowledge is power, let's use that power. Let that knowledge spur us to personal responsibility. Let that knowledge spur us to vote, to vote wisely, and to keep our leaders accountable from day 1, to take an active interest in what they do and don't do right from the start.
Instead of posting and reposting the admittedly shameful videos of our leaders showing ineptitude, let's write inspiring posts, comforting poetry. Let's make videos educating people about positive things they can do to help the victims all around the country, about steps to personal responsibility.
As for me I refuse to propagate our shame, I refuse to repost any video, I refuse to post any photos that are not positive or geared towards keeping the girls and families that have been thrown into desolation in our thoughts and prayers.
We are told in Ecclesiastes that
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
Now that in itself is not a crime, the crime is remaining complacent instead of seeking direction.
It is now four weeks after. Life is slowly returning to normal for most people. The Social Media furore is dying down and the protest marches are dwindling. I understand that the vagaries of day to day survival have not gone away because the girls were kidnapped, or another batch kidnapped a few weeks after, but I wonder...
I wonder if the girls are now accustomed to their new existence and its now the new 'normal' for them
I wonder if they now greet each new dawn with the usual enthusiasm of most young girls
I wonder if they now view their captors as their family and have no hatred in their hearts towards them
I wonder if they miss their mums and dads and siblings and cousins and friends less now
I wonder if their mums and dads and siblings and cousins and friends miss them less now
I wonder if a moment passes when they don't think about them and wish they were back in their arms
I wonder if life has returned to 'normal' for them and their tears have dried up
I wonder if when they think of their girls they can shrug their shoulders and say 'c'est la vie!'
I wonder, and the answer is no. Life will never return to 'normal' for those girls and their families. Sadly, not even if and when they are found.
The horror of this atrocity will always live with them. The memories may thankfully fade over time, but they will never be erased.
So is it too much to ask that we keep the watch? Can we do better than Jesus' disciples and not fall asleep on the watch? Can we continue to watch and pray until they are found? Can we think of practical ways in which we can help the families now and after the girls are found, and set the ball rolling now?
This kidnapping and other events are signs and symptoms of a greater evil in our land. We have become so self-centered we would never consider the notion of not looking out for numero uno first. We have been battered with so much bad news we have become inured to it. Our milk of human compassion is drying up. We can't become riled up enough to take any serious action if it doesn't affect us directly- but there's the danger, it does affect us. Even though Esther was in the King's palace Mordecai assured her that the annihilation of the Jews would affect her one way or the other: she would either be killed alongside them or somebody else would save them and then she would become persona-non-grata before the Jews and possibly the rest of the world, ever so ready to castigate.
We know now that our government doesn't know. They have feet of clay just like us. Knowledge is power, let's use that power. Let that knowledge spur us to personal responsibility. Let that knowledge spur us to vote, to vote wisely, and to keep our leaders accountable from day 1, to take an active interest in what they do and don't do right from the start.
Instead of posting and reposting the admittedly shameful videos of our leaders showing ineptitude, let's write inspiring posts, comforting poetry. Let's make videos educating people about positive things they can do to help the victims all around the country, about steps to personal responsibility.
As for me I refuse to propagate our shame, I refuse to repost any video, I refuse to post any photos that are not positive or geared towards keeping the girls and families that have been thrown into desolation in our thoughts and prayers.
We are told in Ecclesiastes that
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
What time is it now? What season are we in in our nation? Let's figure that out and respond appropriately.
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